Infusing Our Schools With Ahavat Yisrael

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28 Responses

  1. Bob Miller says:

    How would this educational approach deal with those who think they are Jews, but—because of nonhalachic conversions in their family line—are not? There are many parents and kids who unfortunately have this problem but want to use Jewish schools. Some may be willing to convert halachically if they see the need.

  2. That’s a great question. We treat families in this situation with love and compassion- and within halacha. Families would need to work with their shul Rav and a RCA or Rabbanut approved Beit Din to handle conversion. Our Vaad Halacha allows us to admit children who are actively in the process of this type of conversion (as long as they stay “on the road” to a halachic conversion). Our school has children from the type of situation you describe who have convered. With love, compassion and clarity much can be accomplished.

  3. Harry Maryles says:

    Great post! Could not agree more. I salute you! You are a role model for other principals – and so is your school for other schools.

  4. lacosta says:

    this approach reminds me of [i think it’s Kishon’s] parody of Israel’s plan to become the 51st state. after describing all the benefits, the writer says the only problem is convincing the US to grant such a status…

    same with this post-messianic pipedream—– it’s no problem for MO schools to acknowledge anything to their right. It is antithetical, if not outright heretical, for any chareidi institution with bona fides to even throw a bone to their left …

    so frankly, i can’t understand why this piece appears here, unless if was to draw ire against this rav’s mossad….

    [Editor’s note: …or to remind our readership of times not so long ago when charedi institutions acted not so differently, e.g. Bais Yaakov of Baltimore when R Yaakov Kamenetsky zt”l was an active member of their Vaad HaChinuch. There is no a priori reason to assume that all the changes in the charedi world are irreversible. I always assumed that charedi (or charedi-lite) participation in forums like this differed from the collection of blowhards found in some other places. Many of our commenters from the charedi world presuppose that the ease of communication facitlitated by the internet is not all bad, and can be used to create a popular counterweight to some elements of charedi life that have crept in behind people’s back.]

  5. Bob Miller says:

    Lacosta said, “it’s no problem for MO schools to acknowledge anything to their right.”

    That sounds wonderful, but, in my experience, some in those communities and those schools deride and ridicule the right at the drop of a hat.

  6. Doniel says:

    Harry,

    I wonder of your grandchildren in RBS would be able to learn in such a school!

  7. Not Emes/Snagville says:

    In regards to Lacosta’s point, as a (long ago) Charedi alumnus of Torah Academy of Philadelphia (and someone who knows who some of the people mentioned) I believe his point was that in his school it goes both ways (i.e. the story with R’ Eissman). In regards to Lacosta’s point that what does this help that the Left always acknowledges the right, I feel that is quite disingenuous. I think that the way it sounds like R’ Jablon has the school running this glorification of “Charedi” Gedolim along with Gedolim of other camps is not only refreshing it is a Chiddush. If you don’t believe me why don’t you scroll over to the blog of one of the commenters (Vamavin Yavin)

  8. Jon says:

    Ridicule and delegitimization.

    Two different things.

    You tell me which is worse for Jewish unity.

  9. rachel w says:

    …while in my immediate (Chareidi) circle, people don’t deride those on the left. They just don’t take them seriously (their type of Judaism, that is)

  10. TA parent says:

    I am sure the last thing Rabbi Jablon would want is for his article to ignite a “blame game” over which camp derides the other camp more. As a parent in this school, it really is a glorious site to walk through the halls and see Chabad, Lakewood, Israeli, Sefardi, Tzioni, YU rabbis all smiling down from their pictures together and to see boys playing football with bucharian, suede, velvet, knit, and even the occasional satin Kipah!

  11. Bob Miller says:

    “Ridicule and delegitimization. Two different things. You tell me which is worse for Jewish unity.”

    Offhand, I’d say that straw-man arguments on blogs come in a close third.

  12. L. Oberstein says:

    Bais Yaakov of Baltimore in the days when Rav Yaakov Kaminetky was its posek cannot be compared to the school today. He was as tolerant and open minded as any human being can be, an elevated human being who truly understood the needs of the hour and had the ability to take responsibility. The world has changed so much since then that much that went on when my wife attended would be unbelievable today. To be fair to the people who run the school, they are no longer trying to entice less observant families, they are trying to keep the frum families from leaving for a more right wing school.They deal with girls who text, who have internet, who are exposed to things that their mothers never imagined. They also have young, naive seminary graduates who tell them to marry Kollel yungeleit and support them for life , much to the amusement of many of the girls. The school is between a rock and a hard place. If they are too tolerant of diversity they will be abandoned by the heimishe crowd, thus they keep lowering the dresses and closing more buttoms, without out any real spiritual effect. It’s a new world out there.
    As far as Philadephia is concerned,this is a much smaller community that must keep all elements happy if the school is to survive. Thus diversity and pluralism within halacha is a sine qua non if there is to be a school. Philadelphia is also the home of the great godol, the son of Reb Yaakov, who also has the ability to take on his shoulders these decisions. In a larger city, like Baltimore, the right wing is much too numerous to allow such diversity and the result is that students are given the choice of several orthodox girls schools, each at a different place on the spectrum. I wish they would be together as they were 30 years ago, but it may just not be possible any more except by necessity in smaller communities.

  13. TA alumnus says:

    Ahavas Yisrael in schools is something beautiful to be excited about. But Ahavas Chinam, though a nice catchphrase, is ill-conceived and rather dangerous if taken at face value. Ahava that is unthinking and free of careful judgment is too close to the bleeding heart liberal that has lost all sense of values. Not everyone who calls himself Orthodox and not everyone who is Jewish deserves the same kind of love. Rarely, in our generation, do they deserve disdain but often enough for our consideration they ought to be treated differently.
    It is a mistake to claim that “the different opinions in Orthodoxy are all legitimate.” There are all kinds of ideas floating around as Orthodox that are most certainly not. And it is NOT hard to imagine that students who ever saw Rabbi and Mrs. Asulin checking for insects will ever say, “Tzionim [/Modern Orthodox] aren’t careful with mitzvot” – it is not hard because they, as I did, may have grown up in one of the many, many Modern Orthodox communities where checking for insects – and dikduk b’mitzvos in general – is highly unusual. They may come from what in my own experience is a major if not majority part of the Modern Orthodox world that so lacks depth in their Judaism that they are left toeing the line of halacha to keep G-d happy while they pursue otherwise modern goals. I cannot believe Rabbi Jablon is unaware of this reality.
    Let us by all means pursue Ahavas Yisrael towards every one of these people but let us not do it “chinam” – free of judgment, distinction and critical thinking. Let us not be lovey-dovey in a mitzvah that has serious boundaries like every other, pretending that all is kosher as long as you identify Orthodox.
    Yasher koach, Rabbi Jablon for you extraordinary initiative but, with all due respect to this extraordinary gadol, Rav Kook was wrong and guilty of a cop-out IF he responded “that he would rather pay the “penalty” for too much love than for too much hate.” Every one of us – and leaders most of all – is aways responsible constantly to seek the right balance of values especially in such an important area. Anything less is a dangerous lack of yiras shamayim. Who said violating the Torah with too much love is not as bad as any other violation? Who gave anyone the right to absolve themselves of that responsibility? What is the point? If we believe deeply in Ahavas Yisrael, we must believe enough to do it right.

  14. Micah Segelman says:

    I largely agree with the sentiments expressed in this article. I’m impressed by such a bold approach to promoting Ahavas Yisrael.

    But it seems to me that students also need to be taught that there is a difference between tolerance and civility (which is always appropriate) and an eilu v’eilu approach (which isn’t).

    I don’t agree that it’s always positive for children to be told, as written here, ” …that there are different kinds of Orthodoxy, and that all are legitimate and to be honored.” Would this be applied to Chabad Messianism, Feminist Halacha, and a permissive attitude to the decadent aspects of contemporary culture (mixed dancing, mixed swimming,movies, television, etc)?

    We should never be unnecessarily strident or divisive. But there are still lines which must be drawn.

  15. torahis1 says:

    I take strong offense to the unfortunate comment by TA Alumnus above. It is clear that TA Alumnus is missing what R’ Jablon was saying. R’ Jablon knows full well what is acceptable and what is not. Furthermore, the attitude expressed is the main reason why Aderaba, MORE Ahavas Chinam is needed nowadays.

    With the dissatisaction/dropout rate soaring, this can only lead to increased simchas hachayim. ALL Jews should be accorded love, and those with hashkofas different than our own are no different. The suggestion that “not everyone who is Jewish deserves the same kind of love” is a turn-off, it is mean spirited, immoral and plain wrong.

    Im not saying you need to agree with everyone or accept their view as legitimate. Feel free to disagree with others hashkofos, but once you head down the slippery slope of not “acocrding love” to all, you eventually end up at a ‘my way or the highway Judaism’ an intolerant and narrow minded mindset that has no place in Torah Judaism.

    Also, the broad brush with which you paint modern orthodox Jews – as if they are all one homogenous unit is equally offensive – and also wrong. I pray you do not work in Chinuch.
    H’ Yerachem!

    I find it almost comical if it wasnt so sad, that you take R’ Kook to task, but have no problem yourself in casting all sorts of judgements/aspersions on other Yidden.

    R’ Jablon – do not be disheartened, I knew you from your Yeshiva days in Skokie – keep up the good work, your policy is sound and will hopefully one day be emulated by all schools.

  16. joel rich says:

    many Modern Orthodox communities where checking for insects ……. is highly unusual
    —————————————————————
    shaal avicha vyageidcha, zkeinecha vyomru lach—and DDT wasn’t invented till the late 1800’s.
    As to your more general aspersions, why not just say “what I consider to be dikduk bmitzvot”
    KT

  17. It’s nice to hear from an alumnus (though I wish you would have used your name).

    We all know the results of Sinat Chinam- Churban. HaRav Kook zt”l taught that the tikkun for this is Ahavat Chinam.

    With Orthodoxy, there are certainly those that do not live up to the ideals of their “camp.” Yet, that doesn’t make either the majority, or the philosophy, guilty by association. This is part of the point of breaking the sterotypes in a school like Torah Academy of Philadelphia.

    Are there Charedim who don’t like Israel? Of course. Are there even some who have riots? Sadly, yes. Does that represent “Charedi sheetot” or the entire community. Of course not. Thus, when students from Tzioni homes (like my own children) see Rav Eisemann’s great love for Israel, they learn a great lesson.

    Are there some Religious Zionists or Modern/Centrist Orthodox Jews (They’re not always the same.) who aren’t as careful about things as they should be? Of course. But does that represent either the majority of the community or its true philosophy. Of course not. Thus, when students from Charedi families see our Rabbanim and Morot who are Tzioni and/or Centrist being very careful with halacha, they learn a great lesson.

    Obviously, every individual family and staff member- in their own personal lives- may have decided what they feel to be the “best sheeta” for their family. And we all hope that all of us are good role models of that “sheeta.” Yet, we also strive for a “mutual lechatchila” approach where we recognize that in our Kehilla there are various kinds of Orthdoxy–all of which, when truly lived as taught and with Yirat Shamayim and Ahavat Yisrael (which are part of what’s taught, of course) are equally valid and wonderful. So even though there are things that make us different, there are more that make us the same. And that’s why we are one Kehilla (thus our school’s slogan- “Not Just a School- A Kehilla”).

    There’s a great interview with HaRav Aviner shlit”a (those who read Hebrew can see where I have uploaded it on my website, rabbijablon.com). He notes that HaRav Kook talked a lot of two things- ahavah and emunah. He writes:

    אהבה ואמונה. אהבת ישראל – לאהוב את כל עם ישראל, מכל הזרמים והשיטות. את הגדולים שבישראל, הענקיים וגם את אלה שנכשלים ומבולבלים.

    Ahavat Yisrael- to love all of Am Yisrael, from all streams and ideas. The great of Israel, the giants and those who have fallen and are confused.

    חילוקי דעות – כן. אבל חילוקי לבבבות – לא
    A division among opinions-yes. A division of hearts=no.

    והדבר השני הוא אמונה – צריך אמונה בה’, ובע”ה מתוך אמונה וקישור ודבקות בה’ נקיים מצוות ונצליח בכל מה שנעשה

    The second thing is emunah- we need emunah in Hashem. And, G-d Willing, from emunah and our connection and cleaving to Hashem we will fulfill mitzvot and be successful in all that we do.

    I believe that this is a critical teaching for all of us.

  18. TA alumnus says:

    Let me first reiterate that I am excited about the Ahavas Yisrael program in TA and let me add that I hope it is adopted in other schools as well. My post was meant to raise a red flag about overlooking variations within the *entire* Orthodox community – charedi just as much as MO – that are quite relevant to the conversation. One can learn Rav Kook, ztl’s lesson of ahavas chinam replacing sinas chinam without being loose about halachos relating to the boundaries of ahavas yisrael. (I am not suggesting that R’ Jablon c”v is loose – I am raising a concern about possible implications of chinam)
    As much as I agree 100% that there are many paths within Orthodoxy that deserve our sincerest respect, I cannot pretend that ALL paths (not just people) identified as Orthodox are equally deserving. Niturei Karta and YCT, for example, call themselves Orthodox. Do we include them in “the different opinions in Orthodoxy are all legitimate?” What about the examples mentioned above of Chabad messianism and far-left Orthodox feminists? Sadly, there are many communities in between that are less controversial but that nevertheless fall well short of Torah standards in the eyes of the most respected Orthodox leaders.
    Since writing my previous post, I thought of maamer chazal that best reflects what I am really concerned about. Chazal say that during the best learning, the “milchamta shel Torah” causes people to become “sonim zeh lazeh” but in the end, once they have worked through the topic, they become ohavim. The path to meaningful ahava runs through a battle for the truth in which each side believes there is a right and a wrong and they insist on figuring it out. Only once they have plumbed the depths of the issue can they settle on an appreciation for those opinions which survive their scrutiny. This value to fight for the truth before embracing each other is a central value – and a vital one if we are to be proud of our Torah knowledge. Maybe it is not THE tikun for sinas chinam but nor does it allow for an ahavas chinam that is absolutely chinam.
    Once more, I wish you, Rabbi Jablon, a full yasher koach. I mean it fully when I say I absolutely love the idea of what you teach and how you teach it and I pray that your ideas are adopted far and wide. But – without knowing what Rav Kook really meant by “chinam” – there must be a concurrent recognition that “orthodox” should not provide a “free” ticket to the mizrach vant.
    PS: I recognize the application of this to a day school program is “not pashut” and I have no idea how one might teach this balance to children. I wish you only hatzlacha in your efforts.

  19. cvmay says:

    TA Graduate: Just a short/quick question, have you ever studied with ‘hasmadah’ or ‘amailus’ any of Rav Kook’s zt”l teachings?

  20. Mr. Cohen says:

    In 1989, I saw a 6 year old boy came home from yeshivah.

    His father asked him:
    What did you learn in school today?

    The child answered:
    Sephardim are not Jewish and Chassidim worship their Rebbes.

    There can be no doubt that we need more like Rabbi Shmuel Jablon.

  21. Bob Miller says:

    It’s remarkable how so many discussions of Ahavas Yisrael in action then veer off into accusations that “the other guys” as a group lack this quality. More often then not, the agitators in this respect have had little direct contact with “the other guys”.

  22. dr. bill says:

    Nothing is more telling than one who can put neturai karta and YCT on equal footing; see our alumnus above. A hashkafa that can contemplate that is, IMHO, troubling. I assume that those who are not bothered by that are few and far between; i hope i am correct.

  23. Dr. E says:

    Kudos to Rabbi Jablon for obviously “getting it” and developing an ideal model of what Chinuch is supposed to be. Refreshingly absent from what he sees as his mission statement is any mention of Tzniyus, the quantity of hours in the daily schedule, the unbalanced level of Gemara learning, or misguided pipe dreams of the school’s objective being to produce the next generation of Gedolim. The victory of style-over-substance, although ubiquitous in an increasingly “competitive” chinuch landscape, does not seem to be part of the agenda. Kol hakavod!

    Sadly, we have reached a point in chinuch history where this model can only really exist in an out-of-town community. In larger communities, the concept of the large tent does not really exist anymore and if it does, it is only because it has somehow been grandfathered in. There are few visionaries with the talent and courage to aspire for this model in an a priori fashion. This discouraging phenomenon unfortunately applies equally to post high school Yeshivos and summer camps as well.

    Chinuch in the “big city” has become overly fragmented in the past 20+ years or so. For many schools which originally began as true community institutions have evolved into what have amounted to family owned and operated businesses. Many are no longer accountable to the community and there is little transparency from both a financial point of view or in personnel/administrative decisions. Each tries to out-do, out-chumra, and out-tzniyus the other in an attempt to show that they possess the Mesorah. In other cases, schools try to imitate the gold standard schools for that gender,that everyone talks about. But, we all know that the practical reality that we are starting to see is that that communities can no longer support the individual infrastructures. This is why we are hearing that schools have started to go under. Instead of doing a collective cheshbon hanefesh that the system might be broken and maybe Torah Academy has it right, the solution always seems to be to raise more money and keep borrowing the balance.

    So for all of this “sophistication” and advancement that exists in larger communities, the most important value of learning Torah (and secular studies) within an environment of mutual respect is apparently limited to a “community day school” which in many circles is a term uttered with a sense of being too early in the evolutionary system for their tastes. Let us hope that Rabbi Jablon has the fortitude to withstand any pressure to imitate those institutions that are more “advanced”.

  24. TA alumnus says:

    As a fan of Dr Bill’s comments on this blog, I feel a need to clarify my intent for him. My mention of neturei karta and YCT were simply meant to reference those on the extreme right (NK) and on the extreme left (YCT) among those I am aware of who want to be considered Orthodox. There was no intent to put them on equal footing or to make any value judgments of either of them, nor of chabad messianists or feminists for that matter. I wonder what you thought it was telling of? I was simply pointing out that there are paths out there – at the extremes and closer to the center – that are put forth as orthodox that are not widely recognized as being “legitimate.” I imagine I am as repulsed by NK as Dr Bill is.

  25. Former YU says:

    As one of the commentator’s pointed out, Rabbi Jablon’s vision is only possible in a community like Philadelphia where the right wing community is fully invested in the school and the chareidi side of the community support this approach. TA AFAIK has the support of the Philadelphia yeshiva and the children of the rebbeim attend(ed) (not just the Kamenetzky’s but the Svei’s as well). There are other similar communities, but absent that base, the tendency across the country is for the chareidi elements to open a new school, which leads to a race to outfrum the other leading inevitably to divisiveness.

    The same thing happens the other way when more modern parents open a new school to provide a more open environment. However, this does not lead to the same result since the new more modern school often forms an alliance with parents who previously sent their chldren to a non-Orthodox institution. Furthermore, the sinas chinam from the left usually involves calling people “too religious”. which in the eyes of certain MO parents may seem like a terrible insult. However, in the eyes of the children who are being taught at school that religion is a good thing it is not an insult. The children may not identify as chareidi, but they will feel that chareidim are more religious and that they are simply not as religious (this has tremendous ramifications and deserves a discussion in its own right).

  26. Rabbi Jablon,

    I wish you continued success in all your endeavors and am honored to be working with your school in our Israel Connect program (www.israelconnect.org), twinning you with a school in Netivot via P2K of the Jewish Agency.

    Keep up the good work and I am looking forward to seeing you again in a few months in Israel!

    Amihai Bannett

  27. Yosef Lindell says:

    I am also a TA alumnus, but I shall use my name.

    Rabbi Jablon, I am really heartened to see that you are implementing such a program in TA.

    I always wished that I had gotten more exposure to a wider range of the Orthodox spectrum. Not to say the school wasn’t diverse then. 10 years ago we had Modern, Charedi, Chabad, and non-Orthodox at the school as well. But we weren’t taught about the legitimacy of different practices or hashkafos almost at all. For example, I never knew there was such a thing as saying Hallel on Yom Ha’atzmaut until I went to YU. There are probably more extreme examples, but I will not mention them in this post.

    In any event, I am glad to see that change is underway.

    Yosef Lindell

  28. Thank you Yosef! I appreciate your letter. Please stay in touch with us. If you visit us at the school webiste you’ll find lots of information about our school. We’ve built on the traditions that have been here for decades and are, BeEzrat Hashem, rising to ever great heights each and every day.

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